Semantics aside, aren't the people who should be insulted by being told that what they suffered was 'not that bad' long dead?

All right, so that was more or less a rhetorical question. As I see it, what you're asking for here is for people to have more respect for your emotional involvement with history. Which is fair enough, and I'm inclined to respect it - I think at the very least I've cluttered Amanda's journal enough tonight - but perhaps it would be best not to try and couch it in intellectual terms.