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Been a bit quiet lately...
Aug. 3rd, 2006 09:58 amThere was a reason for that. Basically had a couple of things happen that pretty much turned everything upside down for me. But I've been working stuff out and I figure it's time to actually share with the whole class. Paranoia can only get you so far.
Last year, before I left for New Orleans, I had Tante take away my ability to do magic. Not the mutation - no-one can do that - but that's always been separate from the actual spell casting. The fuel, so to speak. Tante cut the connection between the two, so even when my mutation rebooted itself after various things, I still couldn't do magic. Something I was fine with.
Notice a lot of past tense here.
A couple of weeks ago, on the anniversary of my friend Charlie's suicide, actually, something happened. I didn't realise at the time what it was since I was out of it for a good thirty hours and woke up not remembering a thing. Turns out that bog witches are sneaky and Tante's spell had a loophole. As long as I was the person I was, I couldn't do magic. Apparently I'm not that person any more. And the person I am now... well, apparently the magic isn't something I can just dump out of my life, any more than any of us can dump our mutant powers.
I've been spending the last couple of weeks trying to figure out just what it is I can do now. Tante says the magic has changed to reflect the person I am now, which means pretty much nothing I used to do works the way I'm used to. Or at all, in some cases - I tried floating a pencil but that spell's gone the way of the dodo. So I'm having to re-learn everything, start from scratch.
I know I hurt a lot of people last year with the magic and what I did to try and control it, and I'm sorry for that. I can't take that back. But I can promise you all that girl is gone - hell, I've got literal proof of that. And you've got Tante's guarantee that if I go off the rails like that again... well, there won't be another chance.
Now, to go back to these notes of mine and see if I can't turn off this bloody werelight.
Last year, before I left for New Orleans, I had Tante take away my ability to do magic. Not the mutation - no-one can do that - but that's always been separate from the actual spell casting. The fuel, so to speak. Tante cut the connection between the two, so even when my mutation rebooted itself after various things, I still couldn't do magic. Something I was fine with.
Notice a lot of past tense here.
A couple of weeks ago, on the anniversary of my friend Charlie's suicide, actually, something happened. I didn't realise at the time what it was since I was out of it for a good thirty hours and woke up not remembering a thing. Turns out that bog witches are sneaky and Tante's spell had a loophole. As long as I was the person I was, I couldn't do magic. Apparently I'm not that person any more. And the person I am now... well, apparently the magic isn't something I can just dump out of my life, any more than any of us can dump our mutant powers.
I've been spending the last couple of weeks trying to figure out just what it is I can do now. Tante says the magic has changed to reflect the person I am now, which means pretty much nothing I used to do works the way I'm used to. Or at all, in some cases - I tried floating a pencil but that spell's gone the way of the dodo. So I'm having to re-learn everything, start from scratch.
I know I hurt a lot of people last year with the magic and what I did to try and control it, and I'm sorry for that. I can't take that back. But I can promise you all that girl is gone - hell, I've got literal proof of that. And you've got Tante's guarantee that if I go off the rails like that again... well, there won't be another chance.
Now, to go back to these notes of mine and see if I can't turn off this bloody werelight.
