Toil and Trouble

Karma is a stone bitch, I think.

If you did whatever it was that you did because you had to and you had no other choice, then why should you be punished for it?

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I know this.

Give me time for my emotions to get with the program. I've not been treated well by folks who did what you did in the past, and I'm currently having very loud arguments with my past that the circumstances and outcome are Very Different now than they were then.

However, if you happen to have any thorazine in your room, best to keep that fact well to yourself.

Manuel

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Because it wasn't the only way. I should have thought harder, come up with something else other than hitting my boyfriend with a binding spell. Sure, he agreed, but only because I didn't tell him exactly what I was going to do. So, he's furious at me now, and I get to spend the next few days waiting for the other shoe to drop, karmically speaking.

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No Thorazine. Nothing even close. And I am sorry, even if you don't believe me right now.

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I didn't think that you did - that sentence slipped out before I could stop it.

Stupid traumas.

But, to reinforce: I do believe you. I know that you very likely saved me from a very painful sexual execution by the Enchantress. I _know_ this.

In my heart and in my memories, though, I keep seeing the doctors and the needles. I just need some time to work through it all.

Will you give me that time?

Manuel

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So you are being ... punished for making an unwise decision under pressure?

Even though you did not do it with malicious intent?

That's bloody unfair.

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I might be a pain in the arse, but I'm not pushy. Just keep the enslavement comments down, all right? I felt like shite reading that in your journal.

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Welcome to the world of magic. Besides, it's not just that. There's stuff I did when I was with the Enchantress to deal with as well. Rom and Strange ae helping me out.

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Nevertheless, I will try to be a little more discreet.

Manuel

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But you were not you when you were...

Gah. This is just bloody unfair. My friends should not get in trouble for things that were not their damn fault.

Why the hell doesn't The Enchantress get karmic backlash for the things SHE did? Why doesn't Loki?

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You made it sound like that's the way it's been from the start, that I was stopping you from getting to know other people. Maybe I read it wrong. I accept the responsibility for what happened at Amora's castle, but I'm not your bloody jailer.

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I'd say getting her arse handed to her by Alison and having her castle looted and her slaves freed was a pretty good backlash for Amora, wouldn't you? As for Loki... sometimes being a bastard gets you what you want better than doing things properly. But it does build up - Loki will get his, one day, same as Rack did.

I let her in, I let her put the whammy on me, because I was scared and alone and tired of getting hurt - I have to take some responsibility for what happened after.

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No, you are very much not.

But I do spend an awful lot of time with you because it is safe.

I need to stop being safe and start risking a little.

Manuel

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She will just rebuild eventually.

Loki... *shudder* That is one I am glad I never had to deal with. Odin was enough of a bastard in the first place.

I still say you were manipulated into letting her. Taking reponsibility is one thing, but ... I suppose it just seems unfair. I did things I am not proud of or happy about, but I do not take karmic backlash. You do. How is that fair?

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I got to know him fairly well in the time I spent with him.

He has very definite ideas about right and wrong, some of which are a little bent. But he cares for his people, loves his wife, and serves his purpose in soceity to the absolute best of his ability.

He loves his adoptive father and even his brother Thor, despite all that has transpired between them. He helped me a lot with coming to grips with the things I had done.

Manuel

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Manny? He sent us to Asgard. He is the reason Doug has a scar on his chest, the reason I have scars on my shoulder.

He is the reason we -all- had to deal with three months of hell. How can you say he is not -that- bad?

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x-rahne.livejournal.com

That's... not how I'd describe my time there, though I do know most of the rest of you had it much worse.

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Rom said to let Doug and anyone else who might need it know that she's available for healing magic. She won't let me do it, since she's still figuring out my power levels after all this (hey, progress, I can actually handle more before either the addiction kicks in or my head explodes, go me), but she's more than willing to hlp.

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Magic ain't fair, sometimes. It's a whole lot of power that comes with some very specific price tags - if it didn't, the place would be like... Asgard, I suppose. People dumping on each other magically just because they can. I've been told often enough that magic isn't the natural way of doing things, and there has to be some kind of check on that. Especially with a power like mine - maybe one of the reasons I don't have the mutant power fully under control is because I'm not supposed to - this way, I'm always hobbled.

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...

This is going to sound stupid, but I kind of want to keep mine. It is.. a reminder.

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This stinks. Is there anything I can to do help?

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Because I _got to know him_?

I never said he was perfect. He took all of us and scattered us across space and time for revenge, and because he is the God of Chaos, and you'll have to admit that all of us running around was highly chaotic.

Manuel

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Remember who you're talking to? Not that I wouldn't get rid of most of mine if I had the chance, but I think I'd probably keep a couple, just to remind me. Remy said once they showed I was a survivor, not a victom, and I'm starting to realise what he meant.

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Help me dye my hair back to black? I really hate being blonde.

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