So, here's the thing

[xp_daytripper]

I ain't about to tackle full-on military, especially since last time worked so well. And Sarah should know better herself, which is one of the reasons why I'm so bloody angry right now, because one of my mates has apparently decided to off herself in spectacular fashion. And there's the people that can do the job much better than any of us, and I'm happy for them to do it, even if it means pacing a hole in the carpet waiting for news.

But, I'm sick of people drumming in how stupid Angelo and my first reaction was. It was stupid, but we didn't go anywhere once we'd thought about it - or at least, once I knew there were soldiers involved, I was having some major second thoughts. And now anything could be happening, and all I keep hearing is "you were stupid to want to go and help". Well, fine, maybe I am stupid, but she's my mate, and I don't want anything happening to her, all right? So excuse me if I reacted with my emotions and not my head. Still getting used to this friends business and like Angelo said, when you spend any amount of time looking after yourself, your first reaction is what you can do, not who you can ask. But the second reaction is the one I went with, all right?

Fuck. Fucking bloody buggery hell. Times like this I wish I could scry worth a damn.

Comments

[x-snowflake.livejournal.com]

Considering that you think I'm a cold bitch, I don't really see why all of this reaction is necessary, but I shall attempt to justify my comments as best I can.

The fact is that I doubt you've got the training to be effective in any sort of conflict. I haven't seen any evidence that you can hold your own in a fight against those trained to fight, and the concept of you having enough control over your magic to be anything but laughable in a combat situation escapes me. Your desire to go to "help your friend" was stupid on two levels; firstly, you would probably have caused yourself immense harm, and secondly, you would probably have hindered others on your side.

Strong emotion breeds stupidity in those too undisciplined to control it and too inexperienced to know where their talents lie. I spent quite enough time looking after myself (as you put it) to appreciate the value of solid strategy in place of emotional baggage.

[xp_daytripper]

The fact is that I doubt you've got the training to be effective in any sort of conflict.

My training was good enough in the conflict when you got snatched. It was my training that got your brother there, saved Jubilee's arse, stopped Shiro from dying of poison. It was good enough in the warehouse against those evil clones. And you know shit about what Strange has been teaching me.

Besides you'll notice that I'm here, not there - when I first replied to Jono's post, I didn't know it was military. Once I did, I backed off pretty fucking fast. There's a difference between having a reaction and acting acting on it, you know. And the reaction I'm having now is worrying about my friend and wanting to help - as much as they'll let me.

I know where my talents lie - I'm sorting out healing stuff with Strange tomorrow morning. I just hope to fuck it ain't needed.

[x-snowflake.livejournal.com]

I understand that your power was at a rather unnatural level during that, although perhaps you always have access to a magical dimension to supplement your abilities. That might certainly explain your zeal. I won't even go into the implications of using magic to hurt people, no matter how distasteful you may find them, because I'm sure in your thorough education you must have come across some mention of it.

Of course I don't have access to your lessons with the magician, but your track record with magic is somewhat spotty -- at best. Forgive me for making assumptions based on the past -- I somehow keep forgetting that it's all done with now, but that's my failing, and I do apologise.

Would you be here right now if people hadn't stepped in and said, "Oh, perhaps this isn't a fantastic idea"? If it had all been private? If somebody had tapped you on the shoulder, explained exactly what was going on, and asked for your help?

As I said in my post, my knowledge of the situation is not ideal, my involvement in the situation is non-existent, and I am less concerned with your obviously numerous talents than I am with the general attitude of idiocy that surrounds every conflict this school encounters. I'm very sorry to have offended you.

[xp_daytripper]

Would you be here right now if people hadn't stepped in and said, "Oh, perhaps this isn't a fantastic idea"? If it had all been private? If somebody had tapped you on the shoulder, explained exactly what was going on, and asked for your help?

Yes, I would be here. 'Cause if I'd known exactly what the situation was, there's no way I'd be fronting up against trained soldiers. Not even for a friend.

As for using magic to hurt people - who said anything about hurting them? A sleep spell don't hurt, neither does shielding, and it's the motives you go in with that's important any way.

As for the rest... just fuck off, all right? I ain't the same person I was, and I've got things under much better control now. What happened before weren't my fault, not exactly, and I'm doing my best to make up for it.

[x-snowflake.livejournal.com]

Using magic on people has consequences. Period. Doesn't matter if you give them eternal beauty or if you blast them off the planet.

Of course, the balance is obviously on your side every time. The world works like that, I hear.

What happened before weren't my fault, not exactly, and I'm doing my best to make up for it.

Of course. My mistake. I shall take my wrong opinions and think very seriously on my sins.

[x-blink.livejournal.com]

ignore her. she doesn't seem to understand that loyalty to friends sometimes means you do stupid things. or want to do them to help, even if you know you can't. am I making sense?

I think all the carpet is going to need replacing, there's been a LOT of pacing. and worrying. I think I did eat my body weight in sugar...but I'm too stressed to notice.

You are...

[xp_daytripper]

Making sense that is. That's exactly it - wanting to do something, even if the thought is really stupid. 'Cause if I was that bound to do it, I'd find a way. There's always something to be done.

I ain't sleeping tonight - want to keep me company on the back porch? I'll blow the smoke the other way.

Re: You are...

[x-cloud.livejournal.com]

Clarice is right. You're a GOOD friend, Amanda.